Our Story

Welcome to Desired State​

We are passionate about changing the story for women worried that there is something wrong with them (or their relationship) if their desire for sex has faded.

The truth is that it's TOTALLY NORMAL (and makes complete sense) for our interest in sex to dip- especially in a long term relationship.

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You're not broken!

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And if you're looking to re-connect to your desire we want to show you that your sex drive isn't static or set... in fact the power is in your hands to activate it. 

No matter how empty, hopeless or numb you feel, our resources + workshops will revolutionise your sex + love life by helping you discover:

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• the secret to how you really work when it comes to desire

• who you are in bed... and what you *actually* want from sex

• how to navigate a dry spell in your relationship

• and exactly how you can re-capture your desire- whatever life throws your way- and start having great sex that you actually look forwards to!

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So, if you are looking to awaken your sexual desire, get clarity around what brings you pleasure, feel more sexually alive and vibrant or how to build confidence to ask for what you want in bed and beyond- we're here to show you how....

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I am an aspiring sex coach and the founder of Desired State.

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I LOVE cheese, wine, and being outdoors—but here’s what I didn’t love for a long time… sex.

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I woke up one day and realised that my sex drive had gone zippy to completely vanishing. I felt flat, ashamed, and my relationship suffered. I was confused, frustrated, and desperate to understand why my desire had disappeared- and how to get it back.

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To try and rekindle my desire I have been to some interesting spaces. I read, researched, joined forums, talked to friends, explored tantra, taoism, sex magik, somatic practices, belly dancing… even drank sex coffee (yes, really).

And along the way, I had some major breakthroughs:

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• I realised I’d never been taught about my own sexuality or pleasure.

• I learned that our ideas of desire are mostly defined for men, leaving women confused, pressured, and sometimes pathologised.

• I discovered tools, practices, and frameworks to reconnect with desire in a way that’s joyful, empowering, and feminist.

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I call this my journey to “vulva-voom,” and So– I want to shout from the rooftops about what I learned, where the BEST resources are on sexual desire, and how YOU can use this information to revolutionise your sex life.

This isn’t about quick fixes, pills, or gimmicks—it’s about understanding desire, reclaiming confidence, and enjoying sex on your own terms.

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​If your sex drive isn’t where you’d like it to be and you’re wondering what on earth to do about it- or you’re curious to discover what you want in bed- then this site is a rather good place to begin.

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Because TBH… what I found was pretty amazing.

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And I’m SO excited to share it with you.

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Let’s do this!

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L xx